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“My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.”
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“I went to an audition the other day, they were casting 13 people to be clouds, 14 people showed up, it was overcast.”
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“I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time."”
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“I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road.”
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“I had a very lonely New Year's this year, I had to watch my own balls drop.”
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“I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me.”
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“My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.”
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“It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.”
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“I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm.”
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“You know what burns me? Matches.”
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