“My main gripe with suicide bombers, besides the fact that they usually aren't on my side of an issue, is that they don't really do it with any showmanship. They just walk in, usually hunched over and wearing ugly clothes, and BOOMO! They blow themselves, and others, up. Why can't we see some dude run in wearing just a cowboy hat and chaps, spank at one of his ass cheeks and yell, "I got enough C4 in my ass to level a city block! Wooooooooo!" and then blow up.”
“What if we do go to some other planet, discover it has life, and then not be able to get the baby snakes, or whatever they are, deathworms probably, out of the capsule, and then rather than sacrificing themselves and not coming back, the astronauts bring back the ultimate in irritating apartment pests. In 2106, people will be complaining about having deathworms in their bread.”
“It seems like every week we hear of new excitement or response from celebrities. Last week, James Earl Jones agreeing to attend, this week a signed beanie baby from Paul McCartney!”
