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George Carlin quotes

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American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937
George Carlin quotes
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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.”
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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Who decides when the applause should die down? It seems like it's a group decision; everyone begins to say to themselves at the same time, "Well, okay, that's enough of that."”

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