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Authors > Geo Geo > George Carlin

21-30 Quotations of 147

George Carlin quotes

American stand-up Comedian, Actor and Author. b.1937

George Carlin quotes

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“When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.”
esperanza274 George Carlin quote
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“When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands”
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“The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept”
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“I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.”
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“If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little”
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“Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.”
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“I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose”
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“People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think”
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“There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.”
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“Who decides when the applause should die down? It seems like it's a group decision; everyone begins to say to themselves at the same time, "Well, okay, that's enough of that."”
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