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1-10 Quotations of 42

Emo Philips quotes

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“How many people here have telekinetic powers? Raise my hand.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I was walking down fifth avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than return it, but I thought: well, if I lost a hundred and fifty dollars, how would I feel? And I realized I would want to be taught a lesson.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something...”

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