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David Letterman quotes

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American television Host and Comedian. He hosts "Late Night with David Letterman". b.1947
David Letterman quotes

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Number one: Don't frisk me. Don't hurt me physically. Don't get anywhere near my neck. And don't call me Regis. [Advice to his guests]”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“The Security and Exchanges Commission is going to be investigating Vice President Dick Cheney. They'll begin that investigation as soon as Congress finishes investigating the Security and Exchanges Commission.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Everyone has this sense of togetherness right now. For example, one guy on the subway today, he wanted to share my pants.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages. I'm telling you this guy has more positions than Paris Hilton.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Today is a big day in TV history. On this day forty-one years ago, the Beverly Hillbillies aired for the first time right here on CBS. They took a little break, then in 1992, they moved into the White House for eight years.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Hillary Clinton, our junior senator from New York, announced that she has no intentions of ever, ever running for office of the President of the United States. Her husband, Bill Clinton, is bitterly disappointed. He is crushed. There go his dreams of becoming a two-impeachment family.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“The weather here is gorgeous. It's mild and feels like it's in the eighties. The hot dog vendors got confused because of the weather and thought it was spring, so they accidentally changed the hot dog water in their carts.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It's all part of Woody's plan to grow his own wives.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“No one knows if Saddam is still alive. They keep showing old footage of him on TV saying that it's live. You know, it's like the same thing we do with Dick Cheney.”

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    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Ted Kennedy is endorsing John Kerry and I'm wondering, do you really want the endorsement of a guy with a Bloody Mary mustache?”

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