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“I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women.”
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“I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.”
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“If you want to drink, have a drink... if you want to drive, then drive... there's nothing worse than having a smash sober...”
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“I remember Des O?Connor when he was white.”
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“You are what you eat.....I'm a cunt!”
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“you could tell she wasn't a scrubber' - on Madonna”
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